Selling Yourself (Down The River)

Buying a new car is a big decision and a substantial investment, over which a great deal of care should rightly be taken. A car enthusiast may research many road tests of their potential purchases, look up the scores of candidate manufacturers in reliability and customer satisfaction surveys, and agonise endlessly over the respective trim levels and options on their shortlist to create the perfect bespoke motor for their budget and needs. However, for just as many people, a car is a convenient form of transport and nothing more, and in order to reach customers, manufacturers have to depend on the best direct outlet they can muster - the advert. Think about it, you may well be a car lover, but when you last purchased a laptop, a holiday, or a fizzy beverage, did you weigh up all possible pros and cons and cross reference those with the experiences of those in the know, or were you more swayed by a particular advertising campaign? For many I suspect a television advert which grabs the attention and then hits home with an unignorable 'buy me' message is what leads to a subsequent parting from your hard-earned.
In the last couple of months though, it seems that the car marketing fraternity has gone totally spare. Some of the recent efforts to attract buyers to promisng new cars have been cringeworthy at best, and at worst, totally unintelligible. Below are a selection of the latest and greatest advertising fails, in my opinion, which far from leading to a lust and desire for the given car, instead leave behind a quizical expression which remains for the next couple of minutes of viewing, as we try to comprehend what the hell just happened.

For example, first in the dock is Audi, with this attempt to flog the new A7:


The premise here is that the human brain separates pragmatic rational thought from imagination and aspiration via the two sides of the brain, and that the A7 is a fusion of these two isolated elements. In itself that's a fairly clever idea, but illustrating it through some mirrored kaleidoscope footage of bits of the A7 set to an unashamedly 'lets attract young people to the brand' Basement Jazz backing track is pretty poor execution. The ad's main faux pas comes with the final shot. The all-important reveal of the car in its entirety puts the main selling point - the svelte coupaloon profile - in white against a white background, which might be all cool, and fresh and contemporary but makes it damn hard for the A7 to stand out. After the quality of recent Audi campaigns for the R8, this is one hell of a dropped ball.

If the A7's advert needs some contextual explanation, then what can be gleaned from Renault's Megane series is beyond understanding. The fact they had the audacity to use the much lauded RenaultSport 250 to carry the commercials is even more of a kick in the current hot hatch king's face. Work this one out...



Can a car change a town? Probably not, but it can change your mind about which one to buy, and it's not in Renault's favour. However, at least they went for a bit of humour here, not taking themselves too seriously, and got an advert with some comedy in it.

That was probably what Volvo was going for with this travesty, but in missing the mark they've ended up with a complete runt of an advert. The S60 has been unfairly saddled with Volvo's recent attempts to reinvent itself, away from the boxy safe estates of yesteryear to become a modern and alternative choice to the German mainstream. The 'Naughty' new S60 has adorned the back covers of a fair few magazine covers since its release and while the car certainly moves Volvo's styling on a few leaps, the slogan has come in for a fair bit of stick, only compounded by this effort for the V60, the main inspiration beind this blog post.

Ironically Volvo have disabled embedding of the clip, no doubt out of pure embarrassment, in the hope it will be lost in the vast chasm of YouTube and never see the light of day, but it's well worth follwoing the link if you want to see just how not to do irony. Check this one out and keep a straight face: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DflS8QKj3j4

The epidemic of shameful adverts can be traced back in this phase to BMW's 'Joy' campaign, a nauseating trawl through the Beemer lineup with plenty of shots of grinning models piloting various BMW cars along beautiful alpine passes generally having a lovely time. Included nowhere were the more true to life clips of never being let out of junctions, or the 'Joy'of having your X6 or 5GT spat on or gestured to. Other recent offenders worth a mention are Nissan for the useless Qashqai and Juke commercials, showing mostly computer generated cars jumping off buildings in order to display their urban agility, and Mini, who appropriately sold the very hard to like Countryman using the very hard to like (and understand) 'Getaway' adverts.

Thankfully, some marketting depts are still up to scratch. Skoda's contrasting Fabia adverts, with the regular car being fashioned out of cake while the sporty VRS model is made with pure evil has rightly won awards, it's inspired. Jagaur's simple, effective use of stylishly shot XF footage in conjunction with a proud but not smug voiceover recognising the car's awards to date is certainly worth adorning anyone's TV screen. And with the Superbowl just a week away in the US, the annual smattering of brilliant car ads, used in the biggest primetime audience slot of the year, means there'll be a few more coming good yet. Audi stole the show last year with the remake of the famous Godfather head in the bed scene, using the R8, while the pick of the bunch so far for 2011 must be this joint promotion of the Camaro and upcoming Michael Bay Hollwood release. Pretty purile, and hardly a product truth, but entertaining all the same...


No commentary on automotive adverts would be complete without the inclusion of not only one of the best of the breed in recent times, but also one of the all time greatest commercials ever. Here's how it should be done, and Aston Martin especially should take note; their 'Time is Power, Power Should Be Shared' series featuring the Rapide is an affront to the Aston Martin marque, and to the eyes of anyone who sits through it. Here a link to the useless Aston series: http://www.astonmartin.com/eng/rapidetruepower

And this is Honda setting the bar, way back in 2003. Enjoy 'Cog'.